Save libraries! Bring back curtain twitchers!
CCTV is a marvellous thing. All that watching people and stuff. Once upon a time it was a particularly annoying curtain twitcher type who would know everything you do and tell all and sundry. Now it’s random strangers sitting in control rooms following you around the streets and seeing where you buy your underwear from. Oh yeah, and watching criminals and stuff. That bit is the...
Why not make the Queen's Diamond Jubilee really...
I love the Queen. She’s great isn’t she? She’s like your gran. Like your incredibly rich gran who has a lovely range of brooches and hats. And this year is her Diamond Jubilee. Woohoo! Get that bunting out and have a street party. Or, as the government would have it, “get that lady a new bloody great boat”. Now, much as I love a good boat (who wouldn’t...
To the reserve stacks!
Saving up is fun isn’t it? You know, you put a few pounds and pennies together to make sure that you have a bit of money for that ‘sudden’ and ‘unexpected’ disaster. See, sensible innit? Of course, there are many things that could suddenly and unexpectedly happen. Like waking up one morning and finding that your library has closed. Wow! I was not expecting that!...
Save libraries, give meerkats
Everyone loves meerkats don’t they? Cute and fluffy with their cheeky little faces, they are in no way annoying or irritating. So here’s a thought. When it comes to paying off your managing director, why not give them a cuddly meerkat instead of a £450,000 pay-off? They will love the meerkat (who wouldn’t?) and you can then invest the remaining £449,990 in improving your...
Cut the experiments, save the libraries!
The Big Society is so now dahling. Everyone’s talking about it. Although admittedly most of the people who are talking about it are saying “wtf is it?”. Still, at least they are talking about it yeah? Stop being so damn negative you square. Just look at your local council. They get it. They ain’t being all negative and dissing The Big Man’s plan. No, they love...
Cut the vanity, increase the book fund
Councillors! Why waste thousands of pounds on expensive portraits so people can remember/throw darts at you and proudly exclaim “s/he was the genius that killed our library service”? Save money by using your nearest photo booth. It’ll only cost a fiver and will be incredibly difficult to use as a dartboard. You can then spend the remaining £3,175 on improving the book stock....
Save libraries! Eat less!
It’s not hard to make your own lunch and it’s cheap as chips (literally if you eat chips). So why don’t councillors make their own lunch rather than having a free lunch at the cost of taxpayers (approx. cost to the taxpayer in Kent: £12,000pa)? It might not save a library, but it will buy a heck of a lot of books. Library saving rating: 2/5
Bye bye County Hall!
Hey Councillors! You say everything is online and we don’t need libraries anymore? Guess what? Everything you need to administer council affairs is available online. The solution is obvious… So bye bye county hall, you are now surplus to requirements. Library saving rating: 5/5 (Source: Flickr / dpblackwood)